When you become a parent, you face a lot of questions about your baby's sleep, feeding, and health. There are many people who want to give advice, and each of them has their own beliefs about parenting, and failure to follow them is punished by being labeled stupid, fear-mongering, and guilt-tripping.
Today I will take a look at a topic that is often discussed, which is co-sleeping with your baby. It is quite common for mothers to be hesitant during home visits when they admit they are co-sleeping at night – as if it is something forbidden, but not the most natural place for a newborn mammal.
Where should a baby sleep?
As a lactation consultant, I definitely advocate co-sleeping for breastfeeding mothers and babies. Mothers and babies who share a bed have fewer breastfeeding problems, and the hormone prolactin helps mothers fall asleep more easily after feeding. Although sleep is more shallow for both mothers and babies (which is physiologically beneficial and necessary for the baby!), the mother can feed the baby without getting out of bed, and the necessary diaper changes can be done by the other parent or a helper, and co-sleeping also helps mother and baby to develop sleep synchrony.
Concerns about co-sleeping
True, the American Academy of Pediatrics firmly states that a baby can be fed and comforted in the parents' bed, but the moment the parent is ready to fall asleep, the baby should be returned to its crib to ensure the child's safety. There are fears that the parent will turn on the baby while sleeping, that the child will suffocate under the blanket/pillow, or that the infant will suddenly die (sudden infant death syndrom - SIDS).
How do mothers and babies co-sleep?
Now, if we look at how mothers and babies co-sleep, a breastfeeding mother is very aware of her baby (just as we are aware of where the edges of the bed are that we do not roll over) and automatically assumes a position where her knees are bent and her hand protects the baby’s head from above, creating a safe nest for the baby. Turning with bent legs is extremely difficult – I tried, but it did not work.
Breastfed babies sleep at the same level as their mother’s chest, which in turn reduces the risk of them being endangered by a blanket or pillow. Mothers who do not breastfeed their children tend to place their babies in bed at the same level as their face, close to the pillows, and babies who are not breastfed also tend to move around more in bed, which actually increases the risk of suffocation. So one of the prerequisites for safe co-sleeping is that the baby sleeps with the breastfeeding mother!
Risk of SIDS
Sudden infant death syndrome, or SIDS, is the sudden and unexpected death of a previously healthy infant, the cause of which is unknown.
Studies comparing the well-being of co-sleeping babies with those sleeping separately have usually excluded factors that have been shown to increase the risk of SIDS, such as smoking; sleeping on an unsuitable surface; sharing a bed with a baby on formula.
In 2010, a campaign against co-sleeping was organized in Milwaukee (reference) However, a closer examination revealed that in all deaths caused by co-sleeping in the previous year, either alcohol consumption by adults, the baby sleeping on a pillow, poor living conditions and/or smoking were at play; and in each case, the baby was fed formula. Thus, in the case of infants who died of SIDS, the rules of safe co-sleeping were ignored.
Statistics show that SIDS is less common in countries where mothers and babies traditionally sleep together, such as certain parts of Asia (Liamputtong P.: “Childrearing and Infant Care Issues: A Cross-Cultural Perspective”, Hauppauge, NY: Nova, 2007)
It is also interesting to know that the amount of CO² that the mother exhales while sleeping stimulates the baby’s breathing. Breastfeeding mothers and babies who co-sleep, spend less time in deep sleep phases, meaning that the mother is more aware of her baby’s breathing difficulties and responds to them more quickly, and it is also easier to stimulate the baby in light sleep.
BUT, in order for co-sleeping to be safe, it has to be made safe.
Rules for safe co-sleeping
- The baby co-sleeps with the breastfeeding mother
- The nursing mother does not smoke
- The nursing mother is sober and in good health, able to take responsibility for her actions
- The baby is full-term and in good health
- The baby sleeps on her back (unlike the recommendations of many other countries, in Estonia it is recommended to put the baby to sleep on her side. The recommendation to sleep on her back is due to the fact that when sleeping on her side, the baby has a greater chance of turning onto her stomach, sleeping on her side itself is not dangerous, sleeping on her tummy may be dangerous)
- The baby is not dressed too thickly - overheating is more dangerous for the baby than a little cold
- The mother and baby sleep on a safe surface
A safe sleeping place is not:
- a sofa, an armchair
- A place whose pillows and soft parts push the baby against the mother and prevent the baby's head from moving freely
- A bed with gaps between the mattress and the headboard/wall, where the baby can sink into
- A place where pets can come
- A bed full of excessive pillows and stuffed animals
- a bed with heavy blankets/coverings
- a bed with ribbons, strings, scarves, belts
If the family follows the rules of safe co-sleeping, the baby is no more at risk of SIDS than a baby sleeping in a separate bed. If the sleeping position is safe, the risk of suffocation is also minimized, the mother's position protects the baby, and the mother is more willing to respond to the baby's needs.
Only you know what is best for your family
As a postpartum doula, the most important thing for me is to ensure the well-being of the whole family, and for different families, this means different things. There are mothers who feel anxious about co-sleeping and would be up all night holding their baby. Collect information, choose what speaks to your heart and works best for your family!
NB! There will be time when they don’t want to be co-sleeping anymore! Honestly, children who co-sleep, won’t stay in your bed until college!
Wishing you a peaceful night!
Doula Daisi
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